Adapting to the New Normal - Passover Version

Howard and Orly have graciously allowed me to re-appear on PrawfsBlawg to share a series of news reports I have been receiving over the last week or so.

URJ AND HEBREW UNION COLLEGE ANNOUNCE HAGGADAH FOR ZOOM SEDERS

By Amy Plotz, Special to the Chronicle of Higher Education

The Union for Reform Judaism (URJ), formerly known as the Union of American Hebrew Congregations, and the Hebrew Union College (HUC) in Cincinnati, its affiliated seminary, today announced it would be releasing a special Passover Haggadah for use in seders conducted via Zoom.

“We are dealing both with the substance of the seder as well as procedural changes necessitated by social distancing,” said Rabbi Aaron Moskowitz, Chair of URJ’s Ritual Committee. The Passover seder commemorates the exodus of the Hebrew slaves from bondage in ancient Egypt. It is still one of the most widely observed Jewish rituals, even among Jews who put up “Hanukah bushes” or eat Wonder Bread and mayonnaise.

“It’s not bad,” said Deborah Goldman, a Chicago nurse-practitioner who received a beta-test copy of the document. “My dad used to be ‘Leader’ and now he’s the ‘Host.’ My daughter plans on using the polling function for the Four Questions.”

“The best is being able to deal with Uncle Oscar,” said Ms. Goldman’s husband, Jerry Nelson. “Every year he does the multiplication of the Ten Plagues in the voice of Sean Connery and every year we tell him to cut it out. This year we just put him on mute.”

Changes to the text of the traditional service include insuring that the Lord’s mighty hand first uses Purell, and that His outstretched arm stays six feet away from any live participants. The washing of the hands, traditionally undertaken just before parsley is dipped into saltwater and without a blessing, now requires recitation of two chapters of Deuteronomy to ensure that the job gets done thoroughly.

Rabbi Moskowitz reported that HUC’s computer science department was working on a plug-in that would appear to make the wine in the kiddush cup move when Elijah was drinking it. “But we drew the line at changing Moses’s demand to ‘Let My People Go Outside.’”

When contacted, Bennie Rothschild, a wicked child, said, “Fine with me; I didn’t want to be included anyway.”