Consensual Networking

The Onion's take on networking was that 89 Percent Of Networking Nonconsensual. Here is a flavor:

    A new study published Tuesday by Emory University determined that 89 percent of networking encounters occur forcibly and without the consent of one of the parties involved, a disturbing finding that suggests far more people are victims of unwanted career-related discussions than was previously thought...

According to Raybeck, it's not uncommon for people who have been brutally networked to blame themselves for what was done to them. They might, for example, believe that their business-casual attire provoked the networker or that standing alone in the corner of a cocktail party was somehow "asking for it."...

The truth is that networking, in itself, can really be a healthy, fulfilling, and beautiful thing," Raybeck told reporters later over drinks at the Haymaker Bar & Grill. "After all, nothing wrong with putting the old feelers out, especially in a tough market like this, you know what I'm saying? Hey, I'll get the next round, don't worry about it. By the way, who's doing HR for you guys now? Is it still Gary?"

For us academics, at conferences, workshops, reunions, seminars, let alone the meat market, we surely have been victimized with such non-consensual networking behavior. But after all, its part of the job...so please please, all of you former students, future lawyers, new lawyers, future professors, junior colleagues - do harass us! we've all been there.