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Monday, December 29, 2008
The Detroit Lions: two competitions
I know this has nothing to do with law, and I promise a substantive post on labor law reform tomorrow or the next day, but today I ask that you indulge my posting about the Detroit Lions, the first pro football team to go 0-16 since the NFL went to a 16-game schedule some years ago. As a long-time fan, I need to vent.
I propose two competitions. First, a joke competition. Example: "Knock, knock"; "Who's there?"; "Owen"; "Owen who?" "Owen sixteen."
Second, a challenge to list improbable events that have happened more than Lions playoff victories. The Lions have won exactly one playoff game in the past 48 years, and none since 1992.
So, for example, one could say, "who would have thought in 1960 that there would have been serious impeachment proceedings started against more Presidents than Lions playoff victories in the next 40 + years"? Or, "who would have thought in 1988 that the U.S. would be involved in more wars against Iraq than Lions playoff victories in the next 20 years?"
Feel free to leave your suggestions or related thoughts in the comments.
Posted by JosephSlater on December 29, 2008 at 10:23 AM in Sports | Permalink
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Comments
Jeff:
Here are my answers:
1. I hope not and in this case, I actually don't think they will;
2-5. The answer to each is, because they are the Lions.
I'm surprised you didn't ask this:
6. Will they pick a wide receiver with their top pick next year? If so, will said wide receiver be playing with Lions in three years? Will said receiver be playing in the NFL in three years?
Posted by: Joseph Slater | Jan 2, 2009 5:20:33 PM
I saw my first Lions' game in 1957...my Dad took me for my 9th birthday. I am now sixty years old...been a Lions' fan for nearly fifty years...and they have won nothing.
In the fifties they were a feared NFL franchise...three championships...and regular division challengers if not winners.
What happened? In 1964 William Clay Ford (now 83 yrs. old) bought them.
They never recovered. Is there a worse owner in professional sports? I'd argue...not a one.
Nothing will change until Ford is gone from the scene.
Posted by: Increase Mather | Jan 2, 2009 12:45:20 PM
Joe, here are my questions:
1. Will the Lions repeat their Scott Mitchell tendency (i.e. a quarterback who has one great year filling in) and sign Matt Cassel for megabucks, only to find out it's one thing to fill in for Tom Brady (or Dan Marino) and another to lead the Lions?
2. Why promote the same incompetent management?
3. Why trust anybody who hires his son in law and his machitunem?
4. Why not hire Mike Holmgren as the GM?
5. Why not talk to Bill Cowher?
Posted by: Jeff Lipshaw | Dec 31, 2008 5:43:27 PM
Jeff L.:
Yeah, that's pretty much my list too. And that's really sad. I would say Joey Harrington and Scott Mitchell were the biggest disappointments, although I had a friend who went to Eastern Michigan who swore Charlie Batch was the real deal. Now, of course, we have Daunte Culpepper in his dotage.
Andrew G. and Jeff W.:
Good ones. Thanks, and assuming you are fans of or at least follow the Lions, please accept my sympathy and empathy.
Posted by: JosephSlater | Dec 31, 2008 12:03:10 PM
Another classic:
Man finds a lamp on the beach. Rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. "Thank you for releasing me. You have one wish."
The man shows the genie a map of the Middle East and says, "Bring peace to this region."
The genie says, "I'm only a genie. I can't do something that impossible. Any other wish?"
The man says, "Okay, then I want the Lions to win the Superbowl."
The genie says, "Let me see that map again."
Posted by: Jeff Wilson | Dec 31, 2008 10:28:08 AM
An old but classic joke:
A husband and wife have finally decided they can't live together anymore, and they file for a divorce. At the custody hearing, the judge asks their young child if he wants to live with his mother.
"No!" the child says. "My mommy beats me!"
"So you want to live with your father?" the judge replied.
"No! My daddy beats me even worse than my mommy!" the child exclaimed
The judge, his brow furrowed, says "Well, if you don't want to live with your mommy or daddy, who DO you want to live with?"
The child answers "The Detroit Lions. They don't beat anybody!"
Posted by: Andrew Golden | Dec 31, 2008 8:48:08 AM
Greg Landry.
Gary Danielson.
Eric Hipple.
There's a Hall of Fame crew for you, and it doesn't include Karl Sweetan, Milt Plum, Scott Mitchell, Rodney Peete, Chuck Long, Andre Ware, Joey Harrington, Charlie Batch, Joe [cast off from the Bills can't remember his name], Jeff somebody who went to Delaware, and the rest of the Seven Dwarves.
Posted by: Jeff Lipshaw | Dec 30, 2008 7:14:48 PM
Thanks for the reflections, Richard. One could note how truly amazing it is that when the Lions had Sanders, clearly one of the very best running backs of ALL TIME, they still only managed to be a .500 team with a total of one playoff win.
Quick now, name the best Lions *quarterback* of, say, the last 40 years.
Posted by: Joseph Slater | Dec 30, 2008 1:40:40 PM
I'm just happy that the Packers didn't lose to them. Here in Wisconsin, there is a vigorous debate over who we hate more - the Vikings or the Bears. My sense is that the Vikings now have a slight edge.
But we can't hate the Lions because they haven't won enough. Nevertheles, I recall starting to build a healthy resentment for Lem Barney who seemed to score a defensive touchdown everytime they played us. I also came to dislike the Silverdome which was a tough place for Favre until he learned to play in noise. You couldn't dislike Barry Sanders who managed to be fantastic even when Reggie White and company held him to little yardage. (He had an uncanny ability and, given his o-line, a need to turn 5 yard losses into 2 yard gains.)
This means I get to root for the Lions at least four times each year (when they play Minnesota and Chicago). I have fond memories, as well, of Favre's first playoff win - a come from behind win at the Silverdome. I still remember jumping over the coffee table when I saw how open Sterling Sharpe was.
So they deserve to win a little. Familiarity, in this case, brings fondness, if not respect.
It is in that spirit that I offer the following. The Lions do not have the least number of playoff wins in the past 48 years among teams that have been active over that period whether or not you exclude the now defunct (and always meaningless) Bert Bell Benefit Bowl.
It could be worse.
Posted by: Richard Esenberg | Dec 30, 2008 1:28:51 PM
Jeff: I agree about Ford and about the Tigers, but not all Detroit teams are destined to make us suffer. In the past twenty years, the Pistons and Red Wings have each won multiple championships (as have the WNBA's Detroit Shock), and if we stretch it to 25, the Tigers have won a World Series and appeared in another.
Having said that, I'm sure the people of the great state of Michigan would welcome you back with open arms.
Posted by: JosephSlater | Dec 29, 2008 11:30:20 AM
Joe, I grew up in Detroit, and our teams are destined to make us suffer, and the Lions most of all. I wish there was hope for them. The Tigers were a laughingstock just two years before they went to the World Series, but they have an owner with a track record of competence who just happened to start paying attention to baseball (not just hockey). Nothing is going to change, I'm afraid to say, until William Clay Ford sells the team.
We moved to Indianapolis in 2000, just in time to bring the Colts to life, and the Patriots went 16-0 in our first year in Boston. Maybe if we came back to Michigan...
Posted by: Jeff Lipshaw | Dec 29, 2008 11:22:42 AM
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