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Monday, December 15, 2008

A Quick Tip for New Prawfs

Here's a little piece of advice to you new prawfs that you may not have heard before.  If your school is one of those where the students put on a musical every year to poke fun at law school life, including the professors, it is in your best interest to take affirmative steps to avoid being portrayed in a negative light during the show.  Believe me, you do not want to be tagged as the "sweaty" professor, or the "smarmy" professor, or the professor who loves to hear himself talk (like a prawf I've heard about who was portrayed singing, to the tune of the Divinyls hit song, "When I think about law, I cite myself").  To avoid this unfortunate fate, I recommend that you early on adopt a very obvious and hopefully charming (or at least harmless) affectation that the students will have no choice but to seize upon when depicting you in their musicals.  I started doing this right away and have done it successfully ever since.  At first, I made sure to always be seen around the law school playing with a slinky.  Now I never go anywhere without a roll of Smarties, the delicious sweet-tarty candy to which I am completely addicted.  I have to say that, although no students really know who I am and so never portray me in their musicals at all, I am quite confident that if they ever do put me in one of their plays, they will totally overlook all my negative characteristics and simply show me as a guy popping Smarties. 

Any ideas for good affectations our new prawf readers can adopt?

Posted by Jay Wexler on December 15, 2008 at 08:33 AM in Teaching Law | Permalink

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Comments

Wearing a cape works.

Posted by: T | Dec 16, 2008 11:27:27 AM

If I remember correctly, that year I was in the musical I had only one thing to do and I screwed it up. All I had to do was to walk on the stage and take a seat in a specified place. Since I had never been on stage under the lights before, I was totally taken back by the fact that I couldn't see any faces in the audience. I became distracted and sat down on the wrong seat. Luckily a nice cast member corrected me, and I moved to the right seat. A very impressive acting debut!

I think maybe KRS is right. That's why the blogosphere is so great--marketplace of ideas, etc. etc.

Posted by: Jay Wexler | Dec 15, 2008 2:16:17 PM

It's funny that KRS should suggest that Smarties are like a drug, because I call them the "crack of candies." They're crack-sized, made of a compact powder, lack richness, and dispense a powerful sugar hit straight-away. They're nothing like a candy with chocolate and nuts, which you can savor and enjoy. I asked my colleague down the hall to stop stocking her candy bowl with them, but she's amused by my addiction.

Posted by: likes smarties | Dec 15, 2008 1:23:38 PM

The irony here is that Professor Wexler's strategy was rendered unnecessary. The year I was in the musical, we just skipped the impression and invited him to be involved under the theory that it's a bad idea to try and do a funny impression of someone funnier than you are.

Posted by: Matt | Dec 15, 2008 1:17:38 PM

Does this work?

It seems to me that if your students already think you're smarmy or sweaty or self-important, then having a conspicuous tic might make the students more, not less, likely to portray you in a negative light. The prop might make it easier to do so by becoming part of the satire.

If you're self-important, perhaps you carry a slinky because no living thing can stand to talk to you or you think "only the slinky understands my brilliance." And perhaps you have smarties because someone convinced you years ago that they actually make you smart, and after eating them for years, you think you've actually become smarter than everyone else.

If you're sweaty....

[Student sniffs the air, then wrinkles nose]
Student: I smell something. Is Professor Wexler nearby? No, it couldn't be.
[sound of rattling slinky in background]
Student: Oh, no, it's....
[student dressed as prof with exaggerated sweaty armpits bursts into the frame, playing with the slinky that makes the rattling sound just heard]
Wexler: Hi. Do you know who the fifth-funniest Supreme Court Justice is?

If you're smarmy, maybe the smarties aren't actually smarties... maybe they're drugs or hormones or some kind of special smarmy pills.

You get the idea....

Posted by: krs | Dec 15, 2008 11:40:02 AM

I wear an eyepatch and a flouncy pirate shirt. They never seem to notice the sweat.

Posted by: David Zaring | Dec 15, 2008 10:08:29 AM

Carry a cane?

Posted by: Paul Horwitz | Dec 15, 2008 8:40:44 AM

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